At 64, I finally found a cardigan that does not make me feel like I've given up
I have never written one of these before, and I nearly did not. But I have said this to enough friends now that it seemed easier to write it down.
My cardigan drawer had quietly become a sad little place. Every one of them was a shapeless, gray, dependable thing that kept me warm and, if I am honest, made me feel about a hundred years old. I would put one on over a nice outfit and watch the whole thing deflate in the hall mirror.
You do not stop needing a cardigan at our age. You just stop having one you feel like yourself in.
And you always need one. A Southern evening turns cool the second the sun drops, and you are reaching for a layer whether you like it or not.
All of which mattered more than usual this summer, because my 45-year high school reunion was coming up and I had spent about three weeks quietly dreading what I would wear to it.
Then a classmate turned up in hers
A few of us met for coffee to sort out the details, and Carol, who I had not seen properly since the last one, walked in wearing it. It did not look like a cardigan at all, or at least not the sort I had in my drawer. A soft, open knit covered in hand-painted-looking wildflowers, worn open over a plain white tank top instead of buttoned to the chin.
It is the Tansy, from a small boutique called Dorothy & June. The wildflower print means it works right through the warm months, and the open front somehow makes the whole thing look modern rather than matronly. I ordered mine before I had finished my coffee.
What happened at the reunion
There is a particular kind of nerve that comes with walking into a room full of people who have not seen you in forty-five years. I wore it over a plain tank and jeans, and three women asked me where it was from before I had got as far as the drinks table. One of them was Diane, who I have known since our kids were in preschool together and who has never once commented on anything I have worn. She said I looked like I had made an effort for once, which I have decided to take as a compliment.
Then they lined us all up for the class photograph, the way they always do. It came round by email on the Tuesday. I opened it expecting to do what I always do, which is find myself in the back row and wince.
I looked at it for a long moment and I did not wince. I have not been able to say that about a photograph of myself in years.
It has not left my side since. Over a dress, over a tee and jeans, thrown around my shoulders on the porch of an evening. It goes with everything and it never makes the outfit look older.
Three things I have learned since
One. The print changes everything. A wildflower pattern instead of a plain block of gray is such a small thing, but it is the difference between looking put-together and looking like you gave up. I cannot fully explain it, but it is true.
Two. The open front means it works right through summer. It is light and airy, so it takes the chill off a warm evening without cooking you or adding bulk. It does not sit like a heavy sweater.
Three. It flatters more than a cardigan has any right to. It drapes softly rather than clinging or hanging shapeless, so it skims over everything instead of adding a layer of bulk.
About the price
I will be honest, the price made me suspicious more than anything.
The Tansy is $59.95. It was $189.95.
My first thought was that there had to be a catch, because a knit this soft that actually holds its shape usually costs a great deal more. There is no catch that I have found. It is a small boutique selling directly, and they are running their summer sale to move through the season's stock while the wildflower prints are still in. I read the reviews before I ordered, the way I imagine you are doing now. Just under 900 of them, sitting at 4.8 stars. Not the suspiciously perfect five you see on some sites, which if anything made me trust it more. The same things kept coming up. One woman had written, "So soft and light, and the print makes it look far smarter than an ordinary cardigan. I have bought it in three colors now." That was the one that decided it for me.
What I would tell you if we were friends
If you and I were having a glass of tea and you asked me, this is what I would say.
If your cardigan drawer is full of shapeless things you keep only because you need a layer, and not one of them makes you feel like yourself, it is worth ten minutes of an evening to have a look.
Not because a cardigan changes anything. It does not. But reaching for a layer and not feeling instantly older the moment you put it on is a small thing I had stopped expecting, and I would rather you did not stop expecting it either.
The summer sale is on now, and the popular prints in the nicer sizes are already going.
I have not worn one of my old gray cardigans since. I do not think I ever will again.
Amy
Tansy | Vintage Floral Print Cardigan
- Hand-painted-style wildflower print, orange, red, blue & golden yellow
- Relaxed open-front silhouette with brown button closures
- Soft, drapey knit that layers without adding bulk
- Layers over a dress, or a tee and jeans
- Sizes S to 3XL
- Free USPS shipping